What Marriage Teaches Husbands About the Feminine
by Megan Wyatt
One of the beautiful opportunities of marriage is that a husband can learn from his wife.
A husband learns the beauty of the feminine. How the feminine speaks, both in words and in unspoken ways. How she desires, what fulfills her, and what leads her to feel safe and protected.
A husband learns that his ways don't work in all situations and so some of his rough edges are softened by the presence of the feminine in his life.
A man may be a warrior outside the home, but in the home, his strength is best reflected in his patience, gentleness, restraint, and support.
He learns her moods by the tone of her voice, the way she walks, and whether she looks into his eyes or looks away when she speaks.
He learns what makes her giggle, what makes her feel beautiful, and what calms her when she is upset.
But the man who doesn't respect the feminine will crush her spirit. He will find her frustrating, irritating, annoying, and impatient.
Allah created men and women differently and many men have yet to realize just how different the feminine truly is compared to himself.
If you feel like your husband doesn't "get you" it's likely he doesn't. He doesn't understand your nature and so you'll also need the patience to teach him, invite him, shape him, and allow him to experience who you really are.
Many men are highly successful in their careers but fail miserably to understand the woman in their life whom they call their wife.
Perhaps they had no teacher. They didn't have a living role model. They didn't have someone *show* them the way.
Yet, if they would but open the pages of the Seerah and read about how our beloved Prophet Muhammad (saw) treated his wives they would find the best guide there is.
They would hear him saying "the best of you are the best to your family and I am the best to mine" and ponder if they are truly the best to their family.
This statement wasn't conditional that a man married a perfect woman (because there is no such thing) rather it was a statement that invited men to rise to the challenge of becoming honorable leaders in their families and community.
To complete half of his Deen a man must marry. A man needs a wife in order to test his own character. A wife to show him who he is, how far his character has grown and how much further he has to go.
A wife who will show him the meaning of vulnerability and intimacy unlike any other relationship he will have with anyone else.
A wife who will help him understand that true spirituality is measured by how safe, respected, and honored she feels in his presence.
If he has failed in these three areas, no matter what face he gives the public, he is missing the point of his marriage, and the point of the Islamic knowledge he has gained so far.
You, and love, will be one of his teachers that shows him more about himself than any other human being.
You are his mirror.
Note: This post is not in reference to women who are in any kind of emotionally or physically abusive relationships.You may be his mirror in such a marriage, but he will deny the image you reflect back. If you feel you are being abused in any way, please reach out for profession help.
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